How to Get Engaged
by Jynxisruler13
Summary: A long kept secret is revealed and shocks many. However the one behind the spilling of the first secret gets shocked as well only moments later, How is that? Oh, the joys of revenge and shocking the entire population of Hogwarts into silence. one-shot.


**I own nothing but the plot. I just kind of thought of this and wrote it. I have no excuses for it, it's a little strange. Enjoy!**

It was three years after the war and Hermione Granger sat in her place at the head table in the great hall of Hogwarts. With the war came many losses that were unavoidable.

One such loss, however, had been avoided by the quick thinking of Minerva, as Hermione was demanded to call her. Severus Snape had nearly died in the shrieking shack, but was saved at the last moment by Minerva. He had proceeded to come back and teach Potions yet again, but as deputy headmaster and no longer a spy. He now sat to her right and on his right was Hermione herself.

After the war Hermione had ended things with Ron and taken an apprenticeship with McGonagall with aims to be the new transfiguration professor in a year with Minerva going on to solely be the Headmistress.

Hermione loved her job, even if it caused some fall out with her friends. Harry and Ron didn't talk to her anymore. She had never been overly social, but had gotten lonely, thus causing her to make new friends around the castle. She was now surrounded by them. Neville, who'd become the Herbology professor at the same time as she got the Transfiguration position, sat on her left. They had become good friends and Luna completed the new trio. Luna and Neville had tried for a relationship but it hadn't worked out and she now taught with the two of them as the professor for Care of Magical Creatures. The Defense Position remained cursed it seemed, as nobody permanently held the position, weather by fear, intimidation, or both, nobody knew.

She'd also become close with Severus, who'd declined the offer for that position. He was still a bastard to everyone, but not to her, well, in private anyways.

They debated at dinner and talked of random things going on in their lives when in private. What nobody knew was that they were also in a very serious relationship with one another. They kept it a secret for no real reason, other than being discreet around the reporters still hunting for a story. Severus never changed his attitude, aside from his blatant favoritism towards Slytherin being toned down. Students and teachers alike still cowered in his wake, minus a select few who were brave enough.

Hermione loved him for this though, his strange attitude. He would be a dick to everyone without hesitation, but as soon as it was just her, he was sweet, not that she would ever tell him that for fear of being hexed.

Hermione smiled slightly thinking of how she and Severus had begun dating in the first place.

It was a student's essay.

They had been sitting in his rooms talking and marking like they often did. Hermione finished her marking before he had and was looking for something to do. She had picked up one of his already marked essays and read through it.

She had grown angry seeing how he had marked the essay when it had been nearly flawless in its information. She had yelled at him and demanded he change the grade. When he refused without even looking up she started screaming at him and would not stop even after he put his stuff down and stared at her. Eventually he started getting a headache apparently and left the room, with her following, to get a potion. After taking it he looked at Hermione again and sighed as she never stopped yelling.

He sat and tried to read for the next half hour as she yelled and eventually he looked up very annoyed that she would not let him concentrate on his book. Out of pure annoyance, he picked up the students essay and changed the grade. She shut up for a moment before continuing her tirade about how unfair he was. He growled and began yelling back. Not long after he lost his patience and pushed Hermione against a wall, kissing her hard on the lips. She was surprised at first and didn't return the kiss. Eventually the shock wore off and the kiss was returned and intensified.

They made it to his bedroom and the next morning when they woke it was not what Hermione expected. She thought it would be very awkward, it wasn't. They stared at each other for a few minutes before Severus nodded to himself, asked her out on a date, and got out of bed to take a shower without any shame about his naked body. She had stuttered out a yes as he shut the door. When he returned he smirked at her and banished the blankets before getting dressed and leaving, calling the details for their date over his shoulder.

They had been together ever since and Hermione was very happy. It must have showed as she thought about it because Neville poked her in the ribs to get her attention as McGonagall called for attention from the hall before dinner began.

"Mia, what's got that smile on your face?" Neville whispered as McGonagall addressed an issue they'd been having with WWW products.

"I think the better question is _who_ has that smile on her face?" Luna whispered from the other side of Neville. Hermione blushed, but said nothing. She felt Severus probe her mind and she showed him what she was thinking, bringing a smirk to his lips just as Minerva announced that anybody caught skipping class with the products would have detention with Severus or Filch. Many students shivered and resigned themselves to class.

The food appeared and people began eating their food. Hermione felt Severus grab her hand under the table to get her attention. She looked at him and he indicated the Gryffindor table. When she looked she saw that several of the fifth year students were having a food fight. Hermione sighed and stood, as head of Gryffindor it was her duty to stop the fight and she just hoped she didn't get hit. When she arrived she transfigured all the food being thrown into mice, causing much screaming as they hit their targets. She could feel Severus trying not to laugh from where she stood with her hands on her hips and a glare at the students involved.

"Would someone care to explain?" She asked looking at her fifth years.

"Well Professor... Greg started it! He threw a pea at me and I simply defended my honor."

"By throwing a _baked potato_ at my head!" Hermione outwardly sighed and tried to keep a straight face, but inwardly she was howling with laughter.

"Be that as it may, this is not appropriate behavior and you are setting a terrible example for the first years. As such you will each lose 10 points and have detention with Filch tomorrow. Now eat your dinner, clean up this mess, and no more food fights!" She yelled gesturing to the table and the mess around it. She heard a student squeal and looked to the sixth year Gryffindor. "What?" Hermione asked, knowing that squeal and not in the mood to deal with any more drama, but curious what random romance or girly thing had happened.

"I didn't know you were engaged professor!" The student squealed; the hall went silent as everyone looked at Hermione, including the professors.

"Engaged?" She asked

"Well, that is an engagement ring on your finger, is it not?" the girl to the other ones left asked. Hermione scoffed, she didn't wear an engagement ring. However when she went to point that out she caught a glint of something on her hand. She looked down and gasped in shock.

"Sorry, was it a secret or something? Maybe the concealment charm came off?" the student asked again, Hermione shook her head and stared at the beautiful ring. It was black gold and had a dark blue sapphire in the center of the band. The band had the texture and look of rope and was embedded with small diamonds all the way around. It fit both her and her beau's styles perfectly and had the added bonus of being her birthstone. Hermione was frozen and people were staring.

"Professor Granger, I didn't know you were seeing anybody let alone someone that you would consider marriage with." Minerva stated in surprise. Hermione looked at her then to the seat next to her. Severus smirked and raised an eyebrow in her direction with a tiny nod. She smiled and blushed slightly as she noticed all the attention she was getting. This was no doubt done on purpose, Severus loved to see her blush and tried to embarrass her as often as possible, he also had a flare for the dramatics. She looked to see Neville and Luna looking at her in confusion, they hadn't known either.

"Well, neither did I." She responded, earning much confusion. She was going to get back at Severus even if it got her hexed.

"Sorry, what? That makes no sense." The current Defense professor said as she looked at Hermione.

"I didn't know I was engaged until these two pointed it out. Apparently he wanted it to be a surprise. To everyone." She stated as she made her way back to her seat at the head table, wondering how he got the ring on her finger without her noticing. Then she remembered how he got her attention and began wondering if he had something to do with the food fight.

"Are you going to accept his proposal?" One of the female Hufflepuffs asked.

"Yes I think I will."

"How did he do that though? How did he give you a ring not only without you noticing but keeping it hidden until that moment? It has to be some kind of complex charm or concealment spell with a time lock." A female Ravenclaw inquired.

"Oh no, I think he just placed it there and waited for me to notice." Hermione said with a smile as she sat again.

"How could you not notice until now? And how would it not be noticed by at least someone? You helped me in class today and I was watching your wand movements closely, I would've noticed a ring." A third year Slytherin pointed out.

"Simple, he only just gave it to me sometime during dinner."

"You're dating Professor Longbottom?! I told you he wasn't gay Joey, you owe me ten gallons!" a random Slytherin yelled, as Neville blushed and she heard Severus chuckle.

"No, not Professor Longbottom; I feel like Hannah, his girlfriend, would have a problem if he gave me an engagement ring." Neville looked around trying to see how many students thought he was gay. Luna was laughing quietly beside him and patting him on the back.

"Then who are you engaged to?" a student she couldn't see yelled out, Hermione chuckled at their skipping over the possibility of Severus being her paramour.

"That is rather presumptuous of you Mr. Mitchell, how do you know it was not I that asked her?" Severus asked his Slytherin, speaking for the first time.

"Well, it wouldn't be you, right? I mean you don't have a girlfriend and why would she go out with you?" a Gryffindor that reminded everyone greatly of Ronald in his mannerisms. Minerva's eyes grew wide and many of the professors and older students looked up and stared at Severus as he raised his eyebrow at the student in clear annoyance.

"Why don't you enlighten us, I won't take any points as I'm rather intrigued at the workings of your mind." Severus started, confusing people even more.

"Well, you're old and she's not. You're mean, and she's nice. You're evil and she's good. It's pretty obvious really." Hermione stared at the student and rose to defend her new fiancé. He rose as well but was facing Hermione and away from the student. He looked into her eyes and saw the intent in them; she hated it when people called him evil. His wand was out and Hermione was stunned in seconds. Many people gasped.

"We'll just be a moment." He spoke as he swung Hermione over his shoulder and walked with her to the student doors of the great hall. He stepped out and inside all you could here were a few loud blasts and thumps. It went silent again and Hermione and Severus entered the hall again.

"Everyone, I would like to announce my engagement to Professor Severus Snape. I would also like to warn everyone against angering me or saying anything against him for the time being. I do apologize but my magic will be little unstable and grow worse for the next few months to a year." Severus looked at Hermione curiously, as did everyone else. Getting engaged doesn't make your magic unstable.

"Hermione, why would your magic be unstable?" Severus asked with a clear dosage fear and a little realisation. The students were shocked when they heard the clear fear in their feared professor's voice. He induced fear, he didn't feel it.

"Well Severus, it's quite obvious that it's revenge." She said sweetly, many students looked curious.

"Revenge?" He asked slowly.

"Yes, revenge for you putting me on the spot in the great hall, at dinner time, by placing a ring on my finger in a surprise engagement. I don't like being the center of attention, and I know you probably didn't mean for it to be noticed in that way but either way you will pay for a long time."

"Would you like to inform me of this type of revenge and exactly how long I shall be paying for asking you to marry me?"

"Well, you will be paying for asking me to marry me for the rest of our lives, obviously. As for your revenge, well it should begin in about 6 months and ending in about... 18 years or so, depends on when we get rid of it."

"Please tell me you're not..."

"Oh yes Severus, I'm pregnant and now you're stuck with me and the baby that will make your life a living hell until she gets married and transfers that gift to her husband. Just think, you get to teach her."

"I will never hear the end of this from my mother; she is going to kill me." Severus muttered.

"Oh, don't you worry about notifying your mother, I already did. She was thrilled that the Snape-Prince lines will continue, but would like to have tea with you to discuss the repercussions for impregnating me before marriage. I do believe she already has some plans for you, I do believe when she hears this news it will include wedding planning." Severus pointed at her and backed up slowly towards the doors as she smiled sweetly at her fiancé.

"You're evil, and she won't get me in on that torture if I see her and do whatever she wants before I tell her were engaged. See you tomorrow, Hermione, I'm afraid I'm needed at my mothers immediately." He yelled before running from the hall. Hermione smirked, skipped to her seat at the front and grabbed her unfinished meal before leaving the hall.

"Goodnight! Luna I need to reschedule, I'm afraid I really must visit Severus' mother before he works up the courage to do so himself." She yelled as she too left the hall.

"Okay, have fun and name me godmother!" she yelled after her, seemingly unaffected. Neville turned to Luna and stood.

"You knew!"

"I did. Hermione is still a woman and we tend to talk, especially when one just accepted a date with your former professor after spending the night with him and are very confused. We also tend to do favors for friends, like help their boyfriends pick out engagement rings and plan the best way to ask, or perform the charm to test for pregnancy and gender of a baby. I wonder if I can see what Severus will have to do as punishment. Last time they had him sit and help them shop for eight hours. I think I might suggest something that involves the color pink and him in a room solidly that color. Baby shopping! He would hate that!" Luna exclaimed before she ran out of the hall after Hermione.

"This could be amusing..." Neville thought aloud as he followed his friends. Everyone else sat in silence for the next half hour before people finished their meals and went to bed in a daze.


End file.
